Rejection

Crushes everyone has one. It can be a small crush for the running back on the school’s football team, to that sexy celebrity you see on Television. Maybe some of you acted on your feelings, and found love. While others found rejection, but we can't always live in that fear. Rejection is something everyone goes through. Yes, even those gorgeous girls/guys we’ve seen walking down hallways, streets, and even the runway.

I myself can say I have had my rejections in my middle School, and High School life. So much that I have always been afraid to tell anyone how I truly feel about them, even when they ask me to my face. There was one time I had a crush on my best guy friend, and one day when I thought I would tell him how I felt he told me he liked my sister. I was…absolutely…devastated. I felt like I had lost all chances with him, and gave up hope. Weeks later he told me he didn’t like her at all, but he liked someone else. I had a feeling it was me, but I couldn’t speak up.  

He even went as far as saying he was considering dating a girl we all knew. I didn’t like her and I told him it wasn’t a good idea. She was known around school for sleeping around, and didn’t want him to get hurt. He looked at me with his once flawless smile, and asked why I cared so much. I knew than he was trying to get me to tell him my true feelings, but I couldn’t do it. I said “No reason.” And with that he dropped it. Two days later they ended up dating. A few weeks later he stopped talking to all his old friends. A few months later they broke up because she gave him a STD. After that he had never been the same. I sometimes wish that I just told him how I felt, and maybe he wouldn’t be the way he is now. He’s always getting in trouble with drug dealers, sleeping with girls like they’re nothing. He even got jump out of nowhere, lost one of his teeth, now his flawless smile is gone.

My friends this is called regret. What if’s are always running through my head when I think of him from time to time. What if I told him how I felt, who we be together today, or would he have still rejected me? Honestly I think I would have just loved knowing that he really had no feelings for me, and I can finally get rid of all this regret. If I knew there wasn’t ever a chance of us being together, than there’s nothing to be regretful about. Maybe I could regret not telling him soon, so I could have gotten over him and found someone else to crush over. Sadly it’s too late now, and I will never know the true answer behind that question. What is the point of asking after such a long period of time?

Now I’m afraid I might make that mistake again. Not like I think “He” will start dating a “whore”, but I’m afraid he might just stop have some feelings for me. I heard it so many times now how everyone says he has to like me, and how he’s always flirting with me. I have a feeling that he might like me as well, but that fear inside me is always echoing in the back of my head. It’s telling me “He doesn’t like you. Look at him he is smart, funny, kind, caring, he’s almost perfect. Mr. Right, and there’s no way Mr. Right can like you.” And for some reason I listen to it. I can’t even get up the nerves to just ask him to hang out, because I’m afraid of the thought he might say no.

Rejection is scary. I know it all too well, the fear of hearing those words “I don’t like you like that, but you’re an awesome friend” or “No, I’m not interested.”  It’s something none of us wants to hear from their dream guy/girl, but we can’t let that fear swallow us any longer. I don’t want anyone to live in what if’s. I want to know if I have a chance, or if I never had one. No matter what I will get up the courage to ask him to hangout, and if he says no thanks he says no thanks, It won’t be the end of the  world, and I’ll finally be able to live in peace. Knowing that I actually tried, and succeed or failed. Everyone will have rejection and once you fall, you can always find your way back up again.

I’m not going to say getting back up is easy, I know rejection hurts, but you can’t let that Ms./Mr. Right slip away. You never know you might get the answer you’ve been waiting for.  I promise you and myself that I will tell this man how I feel. If it’s no I will be hurt, I might even wonder why he doesn’t feel the same way I do. Still I will get over it…eventually, I will finally be able to move on, and I will be able to live in peace without regrets. Life just is a place where Rejection and Love coexists.